


the boy with the potato and rose tattoo

by shipskicksandgiggles



Series: tumblr prompts [37]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Aliens, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipskicksandgiggles/pseuds/shipskicksandgiggles
Summary: Apparently these aliens die in a mess of rainbow, which is not exactly helping in avoiding Harley's conversation with Spider-Man.
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Series: tumblr prompts [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566982
Comments: 4
Kudos: 148





	the boy with the potato and rose tattoo

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I started this going one way and then went.... no and went the other way  
> prompt: "You're an idiot." "I'm your idiot"

_“Coming up behind you, Princess.”_

Harley only grunted in response when he heard Spider-Man’s voice come over coms. “I don’t need backup, Bug Boy.”

_“Never said you did.”_

“So _you_ need backup then?”

_“...no.”_

“Bugs, if I turn around and there’s an alien on my ass, I will not hesitate to knock you out when we’re done here.”

_“That’s rude, Princess.”_

“Don’t call me that.” Harley turned a sharp corner and ducked into position to take out whatever creature Spidey had following him. 

_“Why not?”_

He watched as a web attached itself to the building across the street, and his telltale red suit followed shortly after. “Okay first of all, you’re the one getting yourself into trouble constantly, which is a total damsel in distress move, by the way, and two, I don’t appreciate being flirted with.”

_“Hey-”_

His reply got cut off by the whirring of his repulsors. The alien shrieked before blasting into a nasty orange goo. “That’s fucking disgusting.”

_“You can say that again.”_

Harley switched his communicator to the team’s channel. “Have we ever seen aliens with orange goo before?” he asked. 

_“Orange?”_ Black Widow responded. _“I just brought down one that exploded into purple.”_

 _“Copy that. I saw green and pink,”_ Captain America said. _“What are we looking at here?”_

 _“I’d say multiple species if it weren’t for the fact they look the same,”_ came Iron Man’s voice. Harley could picture Tony trying to use JARVIS to scan them. _“Thor? Banner? Someone? Help me out here.”_

 _“Don’t know if I can help, Tin Man, but mine are dissolving into colors too. Strictly rainbow.”_ Hawkeye must have been perched somewhere above it all. 

“Great, so let's destroy the Skittles and get out of here,” Harley decided. 

_“Good call Iron Lad.”_

He echoed his thanks and flipped off his mic before flying off to find more aliens. His speaker crackled to life. 

_“Skittles?”_

“If I have to explain common brand slogans to you, I will make sure you get doused in green alien.”

Based on the following silence, he hoped Spider-Man was ignoring him. It would make the rest of this mission so much easier, and then he could go home and snuggle his boyfriend when he got home from work. Peter should be tucked away in the safe room under Stark Tower, which made him feel a lot better about not being with him. 

_“So, no flirting huh?”_

“Jesus fuck-” Harley cursed as he blasted through half a dozen more aliens. “Yeah, no, I’m good, thanks.”

_“You got a boyfriend at home, Iron Lad?”_

“What gave it away? Was it the rainbow comment?” Harley asked dryly. He almost wished he knew who was under the mask so he could find him and blast him when he was out of the suit. 

_“You’re not slick, Princess.”_

“I said, Stop. Calling me. Princess.” He blasted through what looked like a whole battalion of the things one by one. He heard Spidey make a noise. “You okay?”

_“Got nicked in the side. It’s nothing. I saw that with the squadron on 7th by the way. Nice job.”_

Oh god, compliments from him meant he was hurt worse than he was letting on. “Where are you?”

_“Wouldn’t you like to know, Weather Boy.”_

He switched off his mic again. “SOPHIE, patch me through to Spidey’s suit and get me a location.” He switched his channel again to speak to the Captain. “Spider-Man’s been hit. I need cover at 15th and Jefferson.”

_“Can you fly him out? I’ll radio into the infirmary so they know he’s coming.”_

“Affirmative. Thank’s Cap.” He directed extra power into his boots and scanned the ground for the familiar red figure. Spidey was crouched behind a bus, and there were probably 20 aliens surrounding him. Harley landed on top of the vehicle and sent a beam to take out any hostiles in the immediate vicinity. “C’mon, up you go.” He dropped down to the ground and lifted Spidey so he could hold on to his suit. 

“But the aliens-”

“Backup’s coming. I’m taking you to medbay before you bleed out.” He took off and Spider-Man held on as tight as he could. Shit that was a lot of blood. Harley could feel him losing his grip. “Faster, SOPHIE.”

The suit sped up and they managed to land on the emergency deck just as Spidey’s arms gave out. Harley was barely able to grab him before he hit the floor. “No no no, stay with me.” He rushed into medbay only to be met with various doctors and nurses. “He sustained injuries to the side and possibly stomach. Alien weapon, unknown origin, you gotta help him.”

Suddenly Spidey gasped in his arms. “Harley-”

He tried not to move in any way that would give away his shock. Spider-Man didn’t know him as Harley. No one did except for Tony, and that’s because Tony trained him. It was safer to not know who their team was. 

So why was Spidey saying his name?

“C’mon kid, you’re delirious. You gotta let the doctors help you-” He stopped when Spidey grabbed at his helmet. “It’s gonna be okay-”

“Harley please-”

He sighed. “Bugs, I need to put you down and go back out. They’ll find your Harley, okay?”

“I- but you-” His eyes were starting to close as Harley dropped him on a hospital bed. 

The doctors immediately started swarming him. Harley stepped back and took a deep breath before turning around to fly back out. They would have to take off his mask, and he owed him that much privacy. 

“Where y’ goin’?”

“Gotta go kill double the aliens now because of you.”

Just then his radio went off. Iron Man asking for confirmation that they’d managed to take out the rest of the aliens. 

“No y’ don’.”

“Smartass. I gotta go so that these nice doctors can take off your mask and get you better.”

“Don’t _gotta_.”

Harley sighed and turned around just enough so he could see the doctors cutting away at his suit so they could close the wound. “Yes gotta. I’ll see you next time aliens try to attack an art museum, okay?”

“But-”

“No buts. Your identity is your-” He caught a glimpse of a tattoo just below the slash in his side- “... business.”

“‘S it that bad?”

“I- _Peter?”_

He didn’t have time to turn away when the doctor said something about head trauma and pulled off the mask to reveal his boyfriend, cut and bruised to hell. He managed to smile even though Harley knew he must be in a shit ton of pain. “Hey Princess.”

Harley let his helmet disengage. “We’re talking about this once you’re patched up.”

Peter just blinked, but he finally shut up and let the doctors work. Harley walked out, making sure to ask one of the nurses to let him know when he was cleared to come back. 

~~~

Two hours later, Harley got the call that Peter was awake. He didn’t even bother excusing himself from the Captain’s debrief when he walked out. 

He smiled when he saw Peter resting against the pillow of his hospital bed. Once he was in the room with the door shut, he stepped out of his suit. “Hey Bugs,” he greeted as he leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. “How you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Better. Thanks for carrying me back.”

“How long did you know it was me in the suit?”

“A while,” Peter admitted. “You can’t hide from me.”

“And yet you still managed to hide from me.”

“You probably just didn’t expect it.”

“I shouldn’t have had to find out you were Spider-Man from that dumbass tattoo you have,” he pointed out. 

He’d gotten it one night on a dare from MJ. It was a bouquet of roses and potatoes. Harley loved to hold that spot on his hip, loved to know that he was a part of Peter no matter what.

“That’s okay. I’m glad you know now. Sick of keeping secrets.”

“Next time you want to tell me something, don’t almost die to do it.”

Peter laughed. “I think it worked out just fine.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m _your_ idiot.”

Harley rolled his eyes. “Does this mean you’re going to keep calling me Princess?”

“Don’t act like you’re not adding Bugs to your everyday vocabulary.”

He had to admit that was a fair point. “You act like you hate it.”

“Please, I love everything you call me.”

“I love _you_ ,” Harley told him. 

“Love you too, Princess. Now come here and give me cuddles. I deserve them.”

Harley settled onto the bed next to him and rested his hand over his hip. “Sure you do, Bugs. Sure you do.”

**Author's Note:**

> prompts can be sent to my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/playboyphilanthro-pissed)


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